By Carlo Joseph S. Reglos
Marriage is a special event where two people come together to unite and give vows of lifetime love and commitment. Marriage has so many meanings but the simplest one is it’s the unification of two hearts with a promise of everlasting love.
RIGHT AGE
Age in marriage is sometimes being debated by some people. Whether what is the right time to get married and what is the ideal age of your partner.
According to Nick Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah, people should get married between the ages of 28 and 32 if they don’t want to get divorced, at least in the first five years.
There are lots of reasons why the age range of 28 and 30 would make sense as a time to start a lifelong partnership with someone. At this age, people are old enough to understand if they fit with someone or are just blinded by hormones. Also, at this age, people had already made significant decisions in their life and had taken some responsibilities. And financially speaking, this age range is where people somehow become financially stable.
But what if a man who’s in his early 30s met a woman in her early 20s and decided to get married?
THE COUPLE
Meet Jonel Josue, 30 and Rina Borromero, 22. They’re officially Mr. and Mrs. Josue after their wedding last April 20, 2021.
When asked in an interview, Rina said that Jonel is her 4th boyfriend and their age difference is 8 years. We asked her if what makes Jonel different from her exes, she said “Godly man siya, mabait, napaka marespeto at may word of honor siya.” Naturally, a woman will fall with a man with such a personality – God-fearing, kind, respectful, and a person with word of honor.
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
Every relationship has unlimited problems and misunderstandings and these sometimes become causes of failed relationships.
Since Rina and Jonel’s age gap is somewhat huge, we asked if there is an impact in their relationship, she answered “Meron[g impact]. Siya ung mas nakakaintindi saaming dalawa”. Being the older person Jonel managed to become more understanding.
Rina said that sometimes they have some misunderstandings and problems but before the day ends, they will talk it out and have a conversation about it. She said, “Pinag-uusapan namin tapos sina[sa]bi namin yung mga ayaw at gusto namin para maiwasan na mangyari ulit yung away.” Indeed communication and understanding your partner is the key in managing relationship.
MARRIAGE IN PANDEMIC
With the current situation, people are restricted to go out and limit contact with other people. We asked Rina on the reason why they still pushed their marriage.
“Gusto kasi namin nang intimate wedding, yung mga mahahalagang tao lang yung mag aattend ng wedding namin kaya kahit pandemic e ipinush parin namin.” Rina and Jonel took the opportunity to get married with special people joining them that day.
But getting married is not just about the wedding itself but the long and stressfull preparations. “Sa prenup at pag-prepare ng mga invitations at souvenirs. Given na busy kami pareho sa work.”, she said on areas where they strugled. But they managed to battle those strugles by managing their time efficently. “Gumawa kami ng time table na sinusunod namin para ma-maximized yung time namin tapos kada lalabas kami may listahan kami ng bibilhin namin na kailangan para maiwasan yung pabalik pabalik kami sa pamilihan.”
LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE
Some says that more stress comes after marriage because a person will not be living for themselves but also with their partner. At the early years after marriage, married couple will face a lot of challenges and problems along the way but this is where they will learn to know more their partner.
Rina said she is very happy and blessed on her married life. We asked her if she plans to have a baby right away and how many, she answered “Dalawa lang. Oo gusto na namin magka baby and praying na i-grant na ni Lord pero pag hindi pa e antayin namin yung time na ibibigay na niya.”
But as of the moment Rina plans to concentrate on her carreer and study again for her Masters Degree while doing her role as a married woman, “Magcoconcentrate na ulit ako sa career ko at mag-aaral ulit para sa masteral pero syempre habang ginagawa ko yung mga bagay na yun gagampanan ko parin ng mabuti ang pagiging may bahay”.
MESSAGE TO THOSE WHO ARE PLANNING TO GET MARRIED
We asked an advice from Rina on the issue that there are a lot of people who are mentally ready to get married but thinking twice because their financial status hinders them to do so or they’re not yet in their target age to get married.
She said, “‘Wag kayong magpakasal kung nagdadalawang isip pa kayo, kailangan ninyo na dapat buo ang loob ninyo bago ninyo pasukin ang pag aasawa. Magkaroon din kayo ng courage or lakas ng loob kasi sa buhay mag-asawa hindi lang naman puro pera, kung magtutulungan kayo kayang kaya ninyo yan magkaroon lang kayo nang sipag at tiyaga at i-manage ninyo ng maayos yung pera ninyo.” Rina emphasized that when getting married, the couple must have clear and decided mind to get married. She also said that a couple must have courage and help each other to raise and manage their finances.
Photo Credits: Arnold Madayag
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